Another recital

Our 2nd recital on Thursday, May 22, was a wonderful time of celebration of the students (and parents!) accomplishment. I appreciate so much the part of the "lesson triangle" that is accomplished away from my studio - the parents and the students. You can really see how the diligence in practice paid off! Two middle school age girls played Timothy Brown's arrangement of Swan Lake in the newly published In Recital with Duets. and I thought the sound was just gorgeous. We had senior high students who played Bach, Chopin, Mozart, Beethoven, and early intermediate students who played pieces by Melody Bober, Ronald Bennett, Christopher Norton, Nancy Faber, plus beginning students who started between one and three months ago. I truly appreciate all of their hard work that makes a program like this possible. At both recitals all the moms got a long stemmed rose for each piano student in their family that I've taught. Many moms remarked how nice that little gesture was. I read somewhere recently that the success of a music student directly relates to their mom's encouragement. I think it was nice for them to be acknowledged in this way. Many students worked diligently to receive their awards - trophies, certificates and ribbons for piano exams, theory exams, and state contest finalist certificates.

Note: A special thank you to the parents who went out of their way to encourage me! I am truly grateful.

The Meanest Mother

I heard this the first time from my pastor in my teen years. I appreciated it even then.

The Meanest Mother In The World
Copyright 1967 by Bobbie Pingaro

I had the meanest mother in the whole world. While other kids ate candy for breakfast, I had to have cereal, eggs or toast. When others had cokes and candy for lunch, I had to eat a sandwich. As you can guess, my supper was different than the other kids' also.

But at least, I wasn't alone in my sufferings. My sister and two brothers had the same mean mother as I did.

My mother insisted upon knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were on a chain gang. She had to know who our friends were and where we were going. She insisted if we said we'd be gone an hour, that we be gone one hour or less--not one hour and one minute. I am nearly ashamed to admit it, but she actually struck us. Not once, but each time we had a mind of our own and did as we pleased. That poor belt was used more on our seats than it was to hold up Daddy's pants. Can you imagine someone actually hitting a child just because he disobeyed? Now you can begin to see how mean she really was.

We had to wear clean clothes and take a bath. The other kids always wore their clothes for days. We reached the height of insults because she made our clothes herself, just to save money. Why, oh why, did we have to have a mother who made us feel different from our friends?

The worst is yet to come. We had to be in bed by nine each night and up at eight the next morning. We couldn't sleep till noon like our friends. So while they slept-my mother actually had the nerve to break the child-labor law. She made us work. We had to wash dishes, make beds, learn to cook and all sorts of cruel things. I believe she laid awake at night thinking up mean things to do to us.

She always insisted upon us telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, even if it killed us- and it nearly did.

By the time we were teen-agers, she was much wiser, and our life became even more unbearable. None of this tooting the horn of a car for us to come running. She embarrassed us to no end by making our dates and friends come to the door to get us. If I spent the night with a girlfriend, can you imagine she checked on me to see if I were really there. I never had the chance to elope to Mexico. That is if I'd had a boyfriend to elope with. I forgot to mention, while my friends were dating at the mature age of 12 and 13, my old fashioned mother refused to let me date until the age of 15 and 16. Fifteen, that is, if you dated only to go to a school function. And that was maybe twice a year.

Through the years, things didn't improve a bit. We could not lie in bed, "sick" like our friends did, and miss school. If our friends had a toe ache, a hang nail or serious ailment, they could stay home from school. Our marks in school had to be up to par. Our friends' report cards had beautiful colors on them, black for passing, red for failing. My mother being as different as she was, would settle for nothing less than ugly black marks.

As the years rolled by, first one and then the other of us was put to shame. We were graduated from high school. With our mother behind us, talking, hitting and demanding respect, none of us was allowed the pleasure of being a drop-out.

My mother was a complete failure as a mother. Out of four children, a couple of us attained some higher education. None of us have ever been arrested, divorced or beaten his mate. Each of my brothers served his time in the service of this country. And whom do we have to blame for the terrible way we turned out? You're right, our mean mother. Look at the things we missed. We never got to march in a protest parade, nor to take part in a riot, burn draft cards, and a million and one other things that our friends did. She forced us to grow up into God-fearing, educated, honest adults.

Using this as a background, I am trying to raise my three children. I stand a little taller and I am filled with pride when my children call me mean. Because, you see, I thank God, He gave me the meanest mother in the whole world.

Super Parents!

I heard the nicest comment from a parent today! "Every penny I have spent has paid off. Emily used to not want to practice, and now I can't get her to stop!" (. . . and the student says all she wants to do when she gets home from school is practice . . . hmm, I think I can handle that! mv) Shelli R., Brooklyn Park

Symphony of Support for Pushing the Piano

SYMPHONY OF SUPPORT FOR PUSHING THE PIANO
I came across these interesting letters to Dear Abby, first published in the Los Angeles Times:

DEAR ABBY: Your advice to force children to practice was right on the mark. Most children hate to practice, and our son and daughter were no exception. My husband got tired of all the fighting and crying, and said, "Let them quit ! it's too much of a hassle." I said: "Over my dead body!" After that, there were very few arguments. Today, our daughter, Marylou Churchill, sits principal second violin in the Boston Symphony, and our son, Paul, studied cello at Juilliard and toured with the Mantovani Orchestra.
-MARIAN SPEAKER San Mateo, California

DEAR MARIAN: Congratulations. Read on for more letters from parents who refused to cave in when their children wanted to quit:

DEAR ABBY: I?m a mother who forced her children to practice. Why not? It was for their own good. We force our children to take baths, brush their teeth, eat their vegetables, turn off the TV and do their homework, don?t we? My son wanted to quit piano when he was 10. I said ?No way ? you are not quitting!? I knew that my judgement was better than a child?s. Today he is a conductor and professor at the Cincinnati Conservatory of Music.
-EILEEN GIOVANAZZI La Mesa, Calif.

DEAR ABBY: I grew up in a music family. Our parents had a very effective way to get my brother and me to practice. We were told, ?Either you do the dishes ? or practice.? So my brother and I practiced a lot. I?ve been playing the piano for 35 years, and today my brother is an accomplished guitarist.
-MARK ALLEN DONITCH San Rafael, Calif.

DEAR ABBY: When our children first began taking piano lessons, I was told, ?The measure of the child?s success is directly related to the determination of the mother.? It?s true. I was the one who drove our three children to their music lessons for eights years and insisted they practice. When they wanted to quit, I not only paid them to practice, I gave them a cash bonus for every outstanding lesson. (Very few children are self-motivated.) It got them over the hump, and eventually they learned to appreciate music. In retrospect, it was well worth the struggle.
PROUD MOM IN TUCSON, Ariz.

DEAR ABBY: I am a girl in the seventh grade. I?ve been taking piano since the first grade. I?ve never liked practicing and never will. There were lots of fights about practicing and I always ended up crying. My mother threatened to stop the lessons, but I?m glad she never did. I still hate to practice, but I love to play.
-A GIRL IN SPRINGFIELD, Va.

DEAR ABBY: Years ago we lived across the street from a music-loving Italian family in London, Ontario. There were four sons and one daughter. I can still see the mother chasing her kids with a hickory stick trying to get them to go take their music lessons. Their last name was Lombardo, which may ring a bell with your older readers.
R.J. CALHOUN Clearwater, Fla.

Getting your child to practice

Getting Your Child To Practice . . .
• Get an assigned number of repetitions for each practice spot in a piece from your teacher; students are typically more willing to do things for their teacher. In my studio the Magic Number is 5 correct, thoughtful repetitions in a row.
• Know when to suspend a practice session and walk away. Never argue with your child; walk away and try again later.
• Give your child choices?not about whether to practice, the time, or place?but anything else that might help them feel like they have some control of their practice.
• Offer specific, genuine praise.
• Create a story that goes along with each song.
Practice at the same time every day.
• Mornings are typically when everybody feels fresh and focused.
• If your child doesn't do well in the morning, give them a snack and a few minutes to relax and practice right after school.
• Give your child a 5 minute warning before the practice session.
• Practice left until just before bed is a battle waiting to happen.
Create a successful practice environment.
• Practice in the same place every day.
• Remove visual and noise distractions, such as pets, siblings, television. If you choose not to answer the phone during a practice session, you are sending the message to your child that the session is important to you.
• Make sure the room is well lit.
• Keep the temperature around 70 degrees. A place that is too warm or stuffy will make you both sleepy and slow. A place that is too cold will cause fingers to hurt.
• Make sure the room smells nice. Studies have shown that an aromatic stimulus will enhance attentions levels, memory and cognitive learning. Pleasant smells such as cinnamon, cloves, or lemon help make practice a positive experience.
Set goals and break into bite-size pieces.
• Have a practice chart, so they can check off assignments and feel the accomplishment of getting things done.
• Tie the length of practice to a goal rather than a clock. Check your student?s notebook for specific goals I have assigned for the week?s practice.
• Hold several small concerts each week?for a parent, neighbor, friends, or some favorite stuffed animals.
• Make practice more fun and reward hard work. When possible, the music should be the reward, but this will likely not be enough to keep a young child motivated. You know your child best. Think of what delights him/her and introduce in it some way into a practice session.
• Video record a practice session and let them watch it.
• Hold an impromptu performance. Make up some programs and have each person take notes of a few things they liked.
• Have a puzzle where the child can place on piece of the puzzle after the completion of each assignment.
• Throw a basketball in a hoop after the completion of each assignment. Have a goal for how many baskets can be made by the end of the session.
• Play Simon Says.
• Roll a die for the number of repetitions. A 1 means roll again, and a 6 means the parent can choose any number from 2-5.
• Divide a piece into 5 sections. Roll a die to see which section to practice. (Do this several times.) A 6 means the whole piece should be performed.
• Create a grab bag with the names of pieces, or parts of pieces, and other assignments. Include a few fun surprises.
• Have your child guess the next song to practice by clapping the rhythm or playing/singing the first note.
• Use an abacus to count repetitions.
• Light several votive candles. (This creates a fun environment.) Allow your child to blow one out after each completed assignment.

Are you prepared to be the parent of a piano student?

• Make sure friends and family respect the student's practice time.
• Make sure your student follows up on their assignments.
• Read your student's practice records.
• Keep music and materials in a special place.
• Let your student know you are proud of their achievements.
• Encourage your student by listening to them play and commenting on their performance.
• Ask questions about what they are doing.
• Record their practice so they can hear themselves objectively.
• Attend all recitals and programs open to parents.
• Go to other concerts and programs as a family.
• There will be times your student resists practicing. This is normal. Stress regularity.
• Make sure your student never misses a lesson except for illness or emergency.
• Don't allow your student to skip a lesson because s/he hasn't practiced. The one who hasn't practiced is most in need of a lesson!
• Let your student "doodle" at the piano. Just make a clear distinction between doodling and practicing.
• Emphasize how much is accomplished during practice.
• Always contact me if you have questions or concerns.